New Years Eve - bonus post

We spent the evening with several of the other families up at one of the hotels which has a Friday night buffet. I dressed Tara up in her finest of pinks - please notice the sparkly shoes (thanks to Holly for the fabulous hand-me downs). We all drank lots of wine and had a lovely time - and are back at the apartment by 8:30!! Tara tried her first sip of wine and unfortunately for me, I think she liked it!

Happy New Years!

Happy New Year

I am so excited to see what 2011 has in store for me. And I am so blessed to have amazing family and friends to stand by me while I enter this new year as a first time mom. So let me say up front - thank you. I will probably say thank you a million times or more this next year, as I am learning to ask for help - but in case I forget sometimes to say it, please know that I am so thankful for you all.

My little one is having an afternoon nap right now - which gave me a chance for a leisurely shower. She has transformed into a full-fledged 3 year old and this morning I had my patience tested for the first time. She didn't want to put her shoes on and folder her arms intently when I tried to put her coat on. We got through it with me being goofy and silly rather than her resorting to tears, but the frustration levels were high this morning for both of us. And then it dissipated and we've been having fun since.

But she was a wonderful trooper when we went to the IOM clinic for her migration health check, even crying only a little bit when they did the TB test (we'll go back Monday morning for the readings). Then we walked all the way to our daily stop at Mike's Breakfast. I'm guessing it may have been almost a mile in distance and she walked the majority of it (hence the afternoon nap!). Tonight we'll be going to the weekly Friday evening BBQ that the families in town meet at up at one of the hotels - the Summit. I've been told there's a sandbox and play area, so we'll go a bit early. And it's been beautiful out so hopefully we'll have a view of the mountains like we did yesterday (see above). Not a bad way to spend New Years Eve!

And yesterday we had an adventure up at Patan - another one of the historic sites. It's a beautiful square and one of the mom's who is a professional photographer is giving the families here free photography sessions - so we had ours up there yesterday. Tara was very patient while we waited around for the other families to get their pictures done. We did a lot of hopping, jumping and spinning. And then she was a fashion princess - letting me keep her barette in her hair and even posing on her own. I can't wait to see how they turned out - though I may look a bit of a mess since that was not a shower day!!

So - we're plugging on through our days. We spend our mornings reading picture and single word books to practice English, then try for some sort of daily outing to get us out of the house - and evenings of dinner, bathing (still crying) and sleep. I know I've said it before - but I am looking forward to when she can speak back to me in English - though she is now starting to really understand when I say things. We'll get there.

Healthy little girl

We had a day of errands today. This morning we braved the sidewalks with the stroller and walked to the Western-quality health clinic (CIWEC) for Tara's general health check up. I have been curious about her size, as she seems larger than I would have expected for an orphanage girl. And - I was right, she's nice and healthy. She's 91cm (nearly 3 feet) and 13kg (nearly 29lbs). No wonder its been a workout carrying her!! All other health indicators also look good - no parasites or worms (yeah!!). She still has her cough and snotty nose, so I got some medicine to help her breathe a bit easier - it's not clear if it's the cold or the really bad pollution that makes her congested but hopefully this will help.

Our afternoon activity was a trip to the US Embassy to get myself fingerprinted the old fashioned way, with ink! My current adoption-related fingerprints expire on Feb. 23rd and while I hope I will be with visa and on my way home by then, in case it takes until the 24th I want to make sure my paperwork is all up to date! They now get sent to New Delhi and then to who knows where, could take upwards of 6 weeks - but at least its done and didn't cost me anything.

Tara's been slowly becoming the 3-year old that she is - and a willful one at that. She's testing boundaries already and gets pretty unhappy when I say no. She tried several times to play with the car door handle and I had to hold her hands and say no. I need to learn how to say 'dangerous' in Nepali so she understands its not a simple 'no' (like when she's writing on herself with markers) but an important 'no'. I'm assuming it's good that she's testing me, but it's hard with a child who I can't understand and can't understand me. A few impatient moments, but then lots of kisses, so I hope it will be ok.

Another first today - her first peanut butter sandwich (see picture). I didn't have jelly, so I just put some honey on top and she seemed to enjoy first eating the peanut butter and honey off with her fingers and then the toast. I'm glad she liked it, I'm not sure what I would have done without the ability to do peanut butter for lunch!

And the evening ended with some play time on the big bed she's sleeping in. She's already got the toy of the year - a pillow pet - and this evening I went into her room and saw her doing somersault kind of things on it and laughing so of course I had to get a photo. She alternates lying on the pillow and throwing it while trying to pull off the nose. She's a funny little girl.

long day

I was too tired to post last night - so here's yesterday's doings and I'll update more tonight. W had an up and down and then up again day. I slept in my own bed for the first time, so I slept better without a tossing and turning, and coughing, little one next to me and I think she was ok - she woke up with a wimper but it only lasted a few minutes - so I think we're good on that front.

We had a play date with one of the other families (Josie and her daughter Leah) in the morning. Leah is 18 months old, so it was more like the grown ups hung out and watched our respective kid - we played in the park for awhile, playing with bubbles again - always a treat - and then went to lunch. Tara gobbled up the cooked spinach which was nice to see!!

We got back to the apartment around 1:30 and the electricity was out, so that meant no elevator. Since my lovely Tara has not yet learned how to grab on with her legs when I carry her, she's a heavy weight, so I decided to see how many floors she could make it up before I had to pick her up. She made it all the way!! We played for a bit then watched a sesame street video and Tara fell asleep (picture of her napping) - and then things got hard. She woke up crying and just couldn't be consoled - I think the stress, grief and confusion hit this afternoon. I held her for over an hour as she went in and out of sleep and weepiness. This lasted until about 5.

And then, she really woke up and basically seemed to be back to her silly goofy smiley self. She watched and played in the kitchen as I cooked dinner and then she started talking up a storm. I so wish I could understand what she was saying as its really the first time she really chatted away. And dinner was fun! I made spaghetti, stripped her down to an undershirt, and let her go for it (see pictures). She totally enjoyed making a spaghetti mess. I have a video on my phone I'm trying to download but it's really big some having some difficulty.

I put her down about 8-ish and then I crashed asleep a bit afterwards. It was a long day.

Debbie's last day

Today, Debbie, Tara and I managed an entire day on foot - which is not a small feet in this city with no smooth - or consistent - sidewalks! We took the stroller we bought on Tuesday for a test drive last night and Tara seemed comfortable, so today, we used it for real. After an early rise (5:30) and a skype call with Grandma and Grandpa (Tara's first skype) we braved the streets and made our way around the central palace area all the way to Mike's Breakfast - the basic meeting place for several of the families each morning. It was quite an exhausting adventure for us to get the stroller, with Tara in it, over minor and major obstructions - I carried her (Debbie carried the stroller) each time we had to cross a major road and it was just exhausting concentrating on the potholes in the sidewalk. But - we made it in one piece and had a nice break at Mike's. Tara had a banana lassi - so now I have found something milk-based that she will drink since thus far she's rejected all my milk attempts. And we hung out with some of the other families for a bit before going up to the school I want to enroll her in. Unfortunately, it was closed and I found out later that it's closed for a 2-week winter break - so I'm going to have to figure something out for the short term or else I'm simply going to have to figure out this full-time mom thing. I have such a high regard for anyone who can do this full-time - it's exhausting - though I see the draw since it's so amazing to watch Tara learn and grow with each new experience!

Then we made our way back through the crazy streets and sidewalks to do a little shopping Thamel, with Tara promptly falling asleep in the stroller. Seems like anything that moves knocks her out (stroller, cars) which isn't a bad thing (think airplane!!!). Then - we were simply done with the crowds and hypervigilance on the traffic, so we went into this pure oasis called Garden of Dreams. It's a garden area - costs about $2/adult to get in, and it's behind walls with lots of fountains, grassy areas, a couple little restaurants, and most of all, peace. It was just what we needed - to have a snack and just relax for a bit in the quiet. Tara and Debbie looked at the fish and we played with the balloons and just enjoyed.

On our way back to the apartment we stopped for tea and Tara had another first - her first ice cream. After a somewhat surprised look because of the cold, she gobbled it up even to the point of almost licking the bowl (we figure we'd leave her grandpa to teach her that trick!). That's Tara and her ice cream bowl in the picture above.

Now we're winding up the day - with sadness that Debbie's leaving us. Not sure how I'm going to survive here without her, she's not only been fantastic with Tara but she's been so helpful, and patient, with me I really could not have asked for a better person to come with me to start this journey. She will be incredibly missed by us both (Tara is curled up on her lap right now watching Tom and Jerry). Note - Debbie's glasses on Tara in the picture above!

Oh - and as an addendum. After Tara played with (and eventually broke) the small flashlight Debbie brought, we got it to work briefly and she tried to blow out the light - just like she had learned the previous night with the candle. Ahhh, my brilliant daughter :)

Last Nepal Beauracracy day

Today we went to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs to start the process for Tara's Nepali travel documents. Once I get approval for a US visa, the stamp will go into this document, so it's useful to get it ahead of time. This is the last thing that needs to be taken care of from the Nepal side of things and we should get the papers in about 4 weeks. Today was also the last day that I am going to fully rely on the Nepali coordinator to help me with every detail of my day. Bishnu's been great but it's time for me to start figuring things out on my own.

Our treat for the day was meeting up with a colleague that I used to work with in Indonesia - Bhava - who is Nepali and lives here with his wife, who is Indonesian, and their 3 year old son. They took Debbie and I out to a great restaurant that specializes in cuisine from central Nepal and it was really fun to try all sorts of new foods. And Tara pretty much liked everything. Dad - you'll very pleased to know you have a kindred spirit here with her enjoyment of spicy foods!!! She ate them like a trooper, with her bottle of water close by.

Tara learned to blow out candles tonight, which we had fun doing at the table. She first watched the boy do it, then me do it and then after some encouragement tried it herself. She's learning so quickly, it's really fun and amazing to watch. And, after all the excitement, she fell asleep while we were still at the table. It was so sweet carrying her to the car, though not as sweet carrying the deadweight little girl up the 5 floors of stairs since the apartment electricity was out and the generator doesn't go to the elevators! Debbie and I are getting our exercise!

It was another wonderful day. Note the fashion step we've taken putting a barrette in her hair so folks know she's a Nanny (girl) not a Baboo (boy)! And she didn't pull it out too many times.

Christmas Post

What a Christmas it's been! Christmas eve I gave Tara her first bathing with me - there's no bath here so I used a bucket and the shower head. Needless to say, I experienced my first Tara tears. I was told, after the fact, that most of the children had only experienced cold water bathing so baths were not enjoyable experiences. Coupled with the fact that she may never have experienced a shower head pouring water out, she was terrified. It was so hard to hear her cry, but I finished her up quickly, hair and all, and soon we were cuddling on the couch wrapped in a nice big towel with a hood (thanks Holly)! She fell asleep in my arms and I moved her to bed. This was all at 6:3opm - so I braced for a very early rise. Lucky for me she was sufficiently exhausted that other than a few brief wake-ups, she slept until 6:30am.

She tried her first instant oatmeal this morning, but only ate half so I'm going to have to work on that since what will I do if she doesn't like oatmeal!! We toured around one of the major sites - Bhaktapur - for most of the morning and she was a trooper. The drive there (about 45 minutes) she just watched everything pass outside the window. Then we spent a good 2+ hours walking around and she walked most of the time. I only carried her when we were on small side roads with motorbikes and cars whisking by - the traffic rules here are basically non-existent and it's not clear who, or what, has the right of way!

Then we spent the afternoon at the Hyatt for their Christmas lunch buffet and I got to meet many of the other adoption families and their children. It was nice to finally put faces to the names I had learned over the last 5+ months as we've all gone through this together online.

The buffet was Western food - so I figured what child doesn't like noodles and I got Tara some rigatoni noodles with sauteed little bits of meat, green pepper and mushrooms, in a bit of olive oil. And true to child-form, she picked out all the noodles, ate them happily, and then pushed around the vegetables!! She did however eat all the veggies I put in front of her when they were covered in familiar sauces, so we'll have to work on that. And then fruit for dessert - she picked out the pomegranate seeds in the fruit salad and gobbled them up - she has good taste!

The rest of the evening was spent at the apartment - hanging out. I made some dinner (pre-made indian food warmed up in the microwave and rice) and she watched her first Dora the Explorer (I figure might as well inculcate her into American culture!!) and then, after some more crying when I misted saline up her nose (she's all congested) it was off to bed, where she is hopefully restfully sleeping right now!

On the investigation front - I have hired an investigator and started to get things moving. I will start to work with him over the next week or so to get things started and hope to have most of it done by mid-January. Things are moving!

My daughter

Today, after a little detour in time due to a student strike, I officially became Tara's mother. Please welcome the newest Bass girl - Tara Isabel.

And now she is pleasantly playing with Sujan here at the apartment. She's fascinated by the toy buses! It's a good day.

Day 3

Today was a really good day. Debbie and I started very early with Bishnu picking us up a bit before 7am and we got in some good touristing. We visited two sites – a major Hindu temple complex (Pashupatinath) and the big Buddhist Stupa that’s in all the Nepal tourism ads (Boudhanath). It was nice to get out and see some things, but my mind is totally on Tara so I was distracted. I didn’t even bring my camera (luckily Debbie is a major shutter bug !).

Then we were off to the orphanage. We spent the time together outside again and Tara came right out and to me, which was nice. I pulled out a baggy of cheerios (this was a switch from the goldfish from the first couple days) and she took a few and mulled them around in her hands for awhile before deciding to try and then she gobbled them up. We had 2 very successful play activities. The first was a book courtesy of Amy – it’s a cardboard book with a toy duck (like the bathtub ones) stuck in it and when you push it in it squeaks. Needless to say Tara went crazy over this. She kept pushing and squeaking it over and over – and over and over. I have an even better understanding now of why parents remove batteries from noisy toys – but she was so joyous I was able to put up with it (for today!). The other total success was the bubbles. I picked them up at the store yesterday (along with an expensive, yet cheaply made, stroller!!!) and Tara went crazy! Debbie, Tara and I stood up and I started to blow and she just chased them down – giggling and straight out laughing. It was such a joy to see. I did a lot of the bubble blowing, she did some and was pretty good (though I didn’t let her hold the bottle – good advice Amy) and I even got Debbie blowing some in pictures with her new niece. It was a really wonderful morning.

I also had my first failure in my mother duties! I took her to go to the bathroom. She uses the squat toilet, which I’m familiar with from my travels. So we pulled down her pants and she squatted right away. Problem is, I either didn’t get her pants far enough down or her angle right and she basically pee’d on herself. Not my best moment when I had to go to the caregivers and ask for a new pair of pants. I’m really hoping she doesn’t remember my first attempt to meet her bodily needs!

Tomorrow is adoption day under the Nepal government. Can't wait to update you on the news that she is officially my daughter. Then it's just about fighting our own US government to get her a visa to let me take her home! To prepare for this we needed to get 6 passport size photos of Tara so at the end of our morning with her we went to a local photo shop. Before we went, the caregivers changed her clothes from the standard-issue pajama type outfit seen in all her photos thus far to a very sleek (ha) track suit with the insignia of the children's home! Very stylish. I can't wait to dress her in the clothes I brought tomorrow!

Forgot to post this yesterday. Note - all photos and video are due to my sister Debbie's fabulous photography and attention to detail!

Day 2

Today went better - she was only terrified, stoic and silent for the first 45 minutes! We were able to spend about 4 hours with her today. We discovered that she finds blown up balloons blowing in her face very funny! We did a bunch of coloring. She is quite maticulous with her coloring, and I was impressed with her color selection - she tends towards red and pink. We read Peter Pan a few times and she fell asleep in my arms after lunch. It was incredibly touching and emotional!

After we spent the morning with Tara we did a little shopping - I got a stroller, bubbles and a case of water - all necessities. I also met with a colleague at an organization that I'm going to be using their office (TPO-Nepal). Mark, one of the staff from the Netherlands, has amazingly not only offered me up office space but also use of his guest house. I'm going to check it out tomorrow, but if it's good - that will be a great situation. And then at the end of the day we had a celebratory dinner with the woman I am staying with (Emma) and her son (Sujan) - they are getting their visa tomorrow and will be going home Saturday night! They are the first of the families who got sent to New Delhi to get through the whole process so it's with incredible hope that I see the success they've had.

Tomorrow Debbie and I are doing some early morning touristy stuff before we meet with Tara. Trying to get it in before Friday when Tara becomes my daughter, officially. Wow - it's still somewhat unbelievable but it's becoming more and more real with the more time I spend with her. We've got an interesting road ahead of us!!

Day 1

I met Tara today. It was overwhelming, terrifying and absolutely wonderful. She took a little bit to warm up and be comfortable, but she has a wonderful giggle that came out. I’m not sure what more to say – but I’ll let the photos speak for themselves.

Made to Kathmandu

We arrived safely in Kathmandu – our flight was delayed an hour because of flights connecting from Europe being all screwed up. This means that we arrived too late to try and meet Tara the first evening, so we went straight to the family’s house that we’re staying with for the first few nights. We are staying with Emma – another family who is adopting. They have a 4 year old son named Sujan who we got to enjoy last night and this morning. They are one of the original families and have been here since August and when we arrived they had just gotten the news that their response to Immigration was sufficient and they have been approved for a US visa and to bring their son home. Very encouraging for the rest of us!

After a full night of sleep (thanks to Ambien) – we are up and ready to head out to meet Tara. I’m nervous and excited, and everything in between. Debbie will take lots of pictures and I’ll be sure to share soon.

Thanks for all your support!